My sexologist sent me an evaluation in the mail, and I sent that off on Saturday. It made me realize how my progress had really taken a nosedive, and I've been kind of depressed about that. Its hard to say the cause. school has been really demanding, everything has been really. Maybe it has something to do with my fiance but I can't put my finger on it. While I was seeing my sexologist it seemed like he had the desire and the motivation for sex twice a week. Why has it gone back to one? The weather? No more homework? I feel like I want sex more than its happening and that my attempts to have sex are being turned down more. It's starting to feel like it used to, and I hate that.
Sent out save the dates on Thursday. They're magnets, and it's exciting to think of them gracing fridges, quite literally, all over the world.
Also, mother and future mother in law are bugging the shit out of me. "Send me pictures, let's share recipes, how's the wedding planning coming?" Well meaning, but I'm up to my neck in other shit. Leave me alone.
I'll be hosting visitors come finals week. That is the silver lining for sure.

Eventually that preview video worked, and I decided to buy the first part of it. Then that did not work. I emailed the sexologist who made them, and now she is mailing me a copy of the full DVD (saving me $15!)
I have been really lucky- it seems like God or someone is looking out for me in my poverty. When I was seeing my sexologist I got one session for free and one for 1/2 off. I find coupons for free eggs, butter and flour.
Life is okay.
"For Yourself" should get here tomorrow. Hopefully I can stay on track, since I have a 6 page film paper due Wednesday that I have yet to even decide on a topic for....

The Waiting Game

I am waiting:
For my sexologist to email me about that squirting video
For a different sexologist to email about her videos, which do not work
For my fiance to come home from game night
For some inspiration/modivation regarding the two papers and one exam that are due/happening this coming week.
For my phone to die (not so much waiting for it to as, it's about to and i need to get off my ass and find the charger)

F this noise, I'm going to masturbate while I have the house to myself.

My progress has been notably slowing down since my sessions ended. We're having less sex too- back to once a week from the twice since I started going to see my sexologist. I'm trying to at least do something, even if its not sex: I bought "For Yourself" yesterday, and I just tried to watch the Dr. Rodger's sample video but it came up with a "try back later" error. If it doesn't work when I get home I'll call her I guess.
Very blah, I have my 4Xs a year period. On Thursday I had the terrible idea of watching Up (We realized we can stream Netflix to my fiance's PS3, which is the end of productivity as we know it) and I cried for basically half the movie.

Blaaaah

Boo no feedback boo.
Not a lot to report. Had a bit of a dry spell- a week and a half, but it ended last night. It was very nice to end it.
Had watering eyes and a hot foot and what is now known as Miss America hands (when there's so much pressure and i can't do anything about it and it feels good, but really intense and i just flap my hands uncontrolably because i can't handle it!)
Masturbating has been a little blah. Mostly because this past week was really stressful. Paper due monday, 14 hour election shift tuesday, exam wednesday, paper due thursday, paper due friday. But now it's all behind me, and I just have one project due this week (plus the usual reading to keep up on and draft to keep working on for next week).
But seriously. I have finals-caliber acne from all the stress this last week. Not cool.
So here is the long term homework I need to work on:
Masturbate standing (how will this be different? we shall see)
For Yourself by Lonnie Barbach (I will probably order this on friday, when I get paid again)
Blog (heyyy, doing that right now)
Find a system for variations of change
Keep Track (of those variations)
Maintain the Lauren
... what does this mean? (Oh man, I have totally forgotten)
Surging Video Wet Spot c. 2006 (I looked for this online, and found jackshit. I emailed my sexologist and she is trying to find it for me)
Pamela Dare Rogers video (There are four, I'm waiting for my sexologist to email me back with which one(s) are most helpful for me, because i don't want to spend $20 buying them all)
Have fun

Here's hoping you can see my hand sticking out of this mountain of school-related obligation

For endless LOLs:
http://feministing.com/2010/11/02/a-pocket-guide-to-vaginal-euphemisms/?utm_source=twitterfeed&utm_medium=twitter

Also, I'd like to check in... what do ya'll think? Do my exploits make you cringe, grin, blush? Give you pause for thought? Make you look down at your own business and say "whaaaat?"
I would dig some feedback.

Keep at it. And don't cry.

Yesterday was my last session. I felt super emotional. Happy at how far I have progressed, anxious about proceeding without guidance, sad at no longer having sessions to look forward to. I started to almost cry about 4 times. I'm still supposed to email her questions, comments concerns. I'll still be paying off my sessions, basically through the end of the year. I'll see her at the end of January when spring session starts and I become her student. And she's going to call me a couple times over the next year to check in.
Still, I feel like I'm going to have to try really hard to keep at it without weekly homework assignments. Blogging will become a big part of staying accountable.
And now, I'm off to work the polls for for fourteen hours. Have YOU voted yet?