Oof... it seems like eons since I wrote last... a lot has happened. I
finally had the conversation I'd been putting off with my husband... and
it did not go well. There were tears and desperate promises, on both
sides, and then four days of really nice make-up sex right before
Valentines day. I was so happy. Then I came down off my oxytocin high
and realized it wasn't going to be that easy, this wasn't what real life
was like. It's going to take hard work to make my marriage work.
We
have decided to go to counseling. The hardest part of that will
probably be the financial aspect. Psychologists are not cheap. Also
finding someone to watch our son while we go... Also my husband's
discomfort with the idea of seeing a psychologist, that they might
recognize something horrible in him he didn't know was there. All the
same, he's agreed to going, pretty freely. We're basically out of other
options.
Now that I've gotten over my disillusioned funk, I do feel
better than before we started talking. We've been really trying to be
nice to one another and that's...nice.
So, that's what's new with
me. The things my close friends, and you total strangers, know, but not
my family or coworkers or customers....
Going to the sex toy store tomorrow :)
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